As the night draws to a close on my 22nd birthday's eve, I feel like writing a blog about nothing in particular, mainly because I haven't blogged in awhile.

It's beginning summer monsoon season here in northern AZ, there were scattered thunderstorms today. After dinner and some prayer time with my friends phil and jess... the air finally smelled of rain. The wind chime on their porch announced the presence of the oncoming storms. The bells also chimed a starting point for my goal of the night.... find God and get wet in the process.

I quickly excused myself and hopped in the truck I call Josiah. Immediately turning on the wipers and lights as the large raindrops plunked the windshield with increasing intensity.

Pulling into the national forest, I quickly parked, tied my shoe laces tightly (or placed into "active mode" as I would say), and grabbed a water bottle and headlamp for the run up Thumb Butte. The sun set as I ran up the steep trail. A sunset in a rainy forest is most peculiar. The forest turned a pale yellow glow darkening to an amber, then dark green. It rained as I ran. I would have been freezing in my shorts and t-shirt if I hadn't been so physically taxed from the run. Instead, sweat mixed with rain and my side begin to ache... it seems so much steeper than I remember. "I'm going to find you God, where are you?"

Finally reaching the top of the groomed trail, I set off for the rock-climb/boulder-scramble off-road section the last several hundred feet to the summit. The rain has stopped but it's getting hard to see the rocks as I climb ever higher. I leave my water bottle where I can find it later when I need both hands to climb up a crack in the rocks. Reaching a ledge stopping point, lightning flashes closeby and the wind gusts violently in a circle around me. "I just want to talk God, I come in peace."

Why are these boulders moving? Another bolt of lightning reveals the ladybugs are out in full force. At the peak there are many boulders completely carpeted in swarms of them. "Sorry ladybugs." I say as I climb past them in a Godzilla like fashion; sometimes losing my footing from ladybug guts.

As I reach the highest point the sky is purple and just light enough to make out all the surrounding mountains. I can see four different storms with my 360 degree vantage point, each with a wonderful lightning display. The demands I wanted to make of God seem so small as the awesome power of my creator is on display all around me. I worship Him. I praise Him. "I'm sorry I've been away so long."

"Where do I go from here? What will become of my broken heart? Is she the one? Will you at least whisper in my ear so I can know for sure?" I know He hears me.... I sense Him in the air... but I can't hear his response. I wait. I plead. Nothing. It's my fault, I am trying to turn God on like a lightswitch after living in the dark for awhile. Teach me how to listen again God.

The sky fades to black. The storm continues; without and within.

"Thank you God for 21 years, it's already more than I deserve."