So you want to know how to do this love/relationship stuff right?

Want to do it God's way? All the way? Are you sure? cause it's not easy....

Well the first thing we need to do is fix our perspectives.... We need to separate our view of what love is on TV to what love is in reality.... We need to find out how to love at the highest level if we want to even have a chance at doing it right.

My goal of this blog is to help you understand what love is by first helping you understand love's evil twin sister.... lust. Knowing what lust is will assist you in destroying its hold on your life. This is something I sincerely believe must be taken care of if you truly want to have a 100% godly relationship and marriage. Consider destroying lust a pre-requisite to entering in to the relationship that God has destined for you.

SO without further adieu:

Lust is selfish. Love is selfless. Lust is stealing. Love is giving. Lust is temporary and cannot be satisfied. Love is eternal and the only thing which can truly satisfy. I don't know how the mainstream world thinks lust and love are the same thing, because they are totally opposite.....

Lust can rear its ugly head in many forms. From obvious to extemely subtle.... but they all have to be dealt with. Obliterated from your soul with extreme prejudice. Lust unchecked will consume you, distort the truth, steal your opportunity to walk in real love, and can definitely even kill you. Yeah that's right, kill.

Lust of the Eyes- "But I (Jesus) tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already comitted adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:28). How can you have a good marriage if you are constantly committing adultery in your heart? This happens with guys and girls... but I'd say this problem is definitely more deeply rooted in the extremely visual based male species. For this blog, I am going to define the lust of the eyes as "any visual experience that produces any form of sexual gratification from anything other than one's spouse" There's the obvious- pornography, etc... and more subtle forms like lingering for that half second at the model on the magazine at the checkout stand. Did you see her face guys? That's right, no you didn't. A man's eyes have been trained by outside stimuli and inner sinful flesh for years upon years to gravitate to and objectify the female body. It triggers physiological reactions in our bodies like drugs, and most of us are addicted. The good news is, God is capable of breaking addictions, but we have to be willing to give it up and let him. Are you? Job was, "I have made a covenant with my eyes, not to look lustfully at a girl." (Job 31:1).

Lust of the mind - This one isn't hard to understand. Fantasy. Daydreams gone wrong. Mentally undressing and so much more...perverse thoughts. You know you have done it. Storing images from the eyes and using them in mental escapades later. I think guys and girls are pretty evenly matched at this one, but my money says guys might do it more, since I am one and I'm biased. The mind is tough to tame, but it is much easier when you learn to stop feeding it with your eyes. Paul tells us what we must do in second Corinthians 10, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Lust of the Heart - "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23) Again, girls and guys can both do this, but this one I think women will understand and relate with better than men (big surprise huh?). I'll say lust in your heart is hiding fondness or feelings, real or imagined within your heart, that is not your spouse. Maybe you had a boyfriend or girlfriend that you gave your heart to, even a piece of it.... and you didn't end up with them. Chances are you still have that love stashed away. When you are married and things start getting tough... you can pull that other love out, dust it off, and betray your spouse's heart and break your wedding vows... to cherish your wife or husband as your one and only (rich or poor, sickness and in health... remember? it's from some movie I think...). The more you dated, the more people you became intimate with emotionally from the opposite sex, the more heart damage you may have to deal with...... This is a big reason why I am anti-dating, but that's for a later blog. This one is hard to quantify and can be closely tied to lusting in your mind, except it can be much more subtle, sneaky, and long-term. Don't let people into your heart and mind romantically that aren't your spouse, and you will avoid this danger.

This is getting long... so I'm gonna wrap it up. Here's the Cliff's note summation of everything:

Harboring lust of any form in a well-meaning relationship between two believers, is asking for trouble. I believe we need to get our lust issues taken care of if we really want to do this marriage thing right. Personally, I've messed up a bajillion times in all three areas of lust, but I am not cool with that. God has promised me a new heart, a new mind, and new eyes, and I will receive that promise!

For some practical teaching and deeper help with overcoming lust or sexual addiction, check out Be Broken Ministries at www.bebroken.com You might want to read the book, "Every Man's Battle." It helped me put things in perspective. There's plenty of help out there and lots of people that care. You are not alone in your struggles. Find help. Live pure.

Tags: love, lust