My father died in 1992.  I face every Father's Day with mixed emotions.  I am sad he is gone, I miss him so much.  But I also love the memories, I love this time of year where I can reflect on the things my dad taught me, the investment he made in my future.

My dad was born in 1937, near the tail end of the Great Depression.  His family was poor and epitomized the grit of the working class.  He grew up in a small town in central Texas where everyone knew each other and the newspaper headlines regularly included such important stories as Mrs. Smith's tomato garden yielding a bumper crop or the town doctor's latest fishing triumph (OK, so I may be poking a little fictional fun here, but it was a lot like Mayberry!).  My father learned the value of hard work, keeping your word, and understanding that God was sovereign over all.  It was in that community of family and neighbors that Daddy met the Savior.

Later on Daddy enlisted in the Army and began what would be a 20 year military career followed by a civilian medical career as a nurse.  Early in his life he learned to care for others more than himself.  I don't know if it was seeing the effects the Depression had on his family and small town or if this desire to help hurting people came from his growing relationship with God, but it was part of what defined him.  I imagine his caretaking nature was a combination of many factors.  Regardless, he was always ready to work, ready to help anyone in need.  I remember this as a defining characteristic of what made Daddy, well, Daddy.

By the time my sister and I came into the picture (early 70's), Daddy had quite a bit of life experience already behind him.  He was 37 when I was born.  Therefore, he brought a lot of wisdom into his role as a father, maybe more than most men who might have started their parenting "careers" in their early 20's.  He was really proud of his family, as if he was regularly conscious of the fact that he had been given the most prized possession a man could gain.  He gave of his time, energy, money, and wisdom.  He had his share of faults, but they seemed to be more than balanced by his unrelenting desire to do whatever it took to provide and protect.  I wouldn't understand what all those seemingly mundane, "regular" days with Daddy would mean until years later, years after he was already gone.

I became a first-time father in 2000 and ever since then it has amazed me how often I find myself telling my kids the same things Daddy told me.  Things like, "Turn off the lights when you're not in your room!"  Or, "Shut that front door before you let all the cold air out."  But also comments like, "I'm proud of you.  Do the best you can.  You did a great job."  Daddy invested himself in me and the fruit of that investment is being harvested even in his absence, a harvest that will continue on in his grandchildren.  I am grateful I had a father who was present and active in my childhood.  It made a difference then and it is still making a difference today.

I must confess that I don't always take my responsibility as a father as seriously as I should.  Life has a way of wrapping its tentacles of urgency around me, inviting me to believe that there are a thousand other things more important than listening to my daughters tell me the latest saga concerning their extensive (and growing) baby doll collections or watching my son climb to the very top of a tree (without falling off).  I don't always drink in these moments, enjoying the energy and innocence of youthfulness or looking for opportunities to teach them (or model before them) about how much their heavenly Father delights in them - continually!  I hope to improve on capturing these moments and resting in them.

As I think about Father's Day this year, I am taking a moment to look back and remember the rich heritage of godly manhood that my dad modeled for me in my childhood years.  But I also press in to this moment right now, looking intently at the three precious children God has given me, realizing that my time with them is short (and getting shorter!).  In this season of their lives I want to plant seeds; seeds of faith, honesty, integrity, love, loyalty, hard work, and trust.  I want to lead my children in such a way that when they one day look back over their lives they will smile and possibly even say (or think), "Thanks, Dad."

Enjoying the terrifying journey of fatherhood,

jonathan

Tags: blog, fatherhood, parenthood, parents