I've struggled with shame most of my life. I believed such lies as, "I must be perfect" or "I am undesirable." These lies spun in my mind so often and so strongly that I lived them out in my everyday life and relationships. I worked hard to present myself as perfect, not having any flaws or deficiencies. I covered up the deep secrets of self-hatred and despair so as not to appear sick or unlovable. But these lies of shame kept me imprisoned in a state of perpetual sickness and immobility. I was lame.

So, what good are the lame? Just look at my life. I lived in secrecy, shame, isolation, fear, anger, and the list of sicknesses and sinfulness could go on and on. And I still struggle today with being bombarded by all these same afflictions. I still carry a limp from my years of being a spiritual and emotional cripple. What good could I possibly offer in this life?

Let me share a profound secret I have learned along this road to healing about my value and worth before God: it never changed.

God loves lame people. In fact, it is the lame that he wants! Jesus said, "It isn't the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick." He seeks out the lost, lonely, desperate, crippled souls and invites them to spend time with Him. He doesn't beat them down with all the stupid decisions they have made, or blame them for all the wounds they carry. He simply reaches out in love and offers healing.

The most amazing miracle to me is not that God heals the lame (now, that is quite a miracle). But what causes my jaw to drop to the floor is that God heals the lame in order to heal more lame. All we who feel incapable or unworthy because of our past or the poor decisions we have made along the way, God has great news. He loves taking broken, twisted people and healing them so more lame, crippled souls will experience the life they dreamed of living.

Do you feel worthless, incapable, or lame? That's okay. You are just the kind of person God is looking for...

Grateful for my limp,

jonathan

Tags: blog, shame