Be Broken Ministries

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December E-News: I Love You, Even Though...

By Jonathan Daugherty
Founder & Director, Be Broken Ministries

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In This Issue:

Purity Spotlight

I Love You, Even Though...


Dinner time at my house almost always produces memorable moments. It is a time when our whole family gathers around the table to eat, pray, and talk about our day. I like to ask my kids about school and anything else they want to share about their day. I have had many enjoyable interactions at the dinner table, not to mention many hilarious moments as well. Recently, we were eating boneless chicken for dinner (this will have significance in a minute) when such a memorable, hilarious moment occurred.

My kids and I decided to eat our chicken in a different sort of way. Rather than cutting it into bite sized pieces and then eating it like civilized human beings, we just stabbed it with our forks and ate it like cavemen (please don't email me chastising me for my poor parenting techniques...). During our conversation, I set down my chicken on my plate with the fork sticking straight up out of it. My son, Ethan, sneezed or did something that caused him to bump into the table. When the table moved, my fork toppled over and fell off my plate and tumbled to the floor, with the chicken still attached. Splat! Chicken and fork landed right beside my chair leg. I leaned over and picked up the fork and then examined the chicken. It was covered with dirt and hair. (Let me remind you, I have three very active children under the age of nine in my house, so the dirt and hair combo is common on our floors.)

As I picked up the fork and chicken, I jokingly commented to my wife Elaine, "Honey, I know that typically your floors are clean enough to eat off of, but this one particular spot on which this chicken fell just so happened to contain some dirt and hair."

My wife, without missing a beat, replied with a wink, "But you still love me, right?"

Before I could respond with more than a smile, Megan (my youngest), chimed in as she leaned over the table toward my wife, "Mommy, I love you, even though you are sloppy."

Elaine burst out laughing (which cued the rest of us it was fine to join in with our own gut-busting laughter). Again, a memorable moment was created around my dinner table. But this time I didn't just let the laughter fade into nothing, as I saw this as a wonderful opportunity to share a biblical truth that we so often don't embrace in our daily lives. I decided to encourage my kids with the truth that God too loves us, even though we are... (fill in the blank). Elaine even brought up Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this; While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

As the days have passed since that wonderful dinner time reminder, I have thought more about this truth that God's love is complete and eternal for us, His children. To illustrate this point, let's look at just a few examples from Scripture of those who God said He loved, even though...

God said,

"I love you, Adam, even though you disobeyed me and ate the forbidden fruit."

"I love you, Abraham, even though you lied about your wife, saying she was your sister, because you feared man more than me."

"I love you, Jacob, even though you played favorites with your sons and often dealt with others in deceptive ways."

"I love you, Moses, even though you murdered a man and often mismanaged your anger."

"I love you, Samson, even though you were full of pride and regularly succumbed to your lust."

"I love you, David, even though you committed adultery, conspired in murder, and neglected your children."

"I love you, Jonah, even though you ran away from my calling and desired judgment over mercy."

"I love you, Peter, even though you betrayed your friendship with my Son and broke your word."

"I love you, Paul, even though you persecuted my church."

And today, God still speaks to us of His undying love, in spite of all our deficiencies, sinfulness, and tendency to drift away from Him. He still says, "I love you, even though... you lied, you stole, you envied, you lusted, you cheated, you murdered in your anger, you gossiped, you cut corners, you got drunk, you did fill in the blank." The apostle Paul put it this way in his letter to the Ephesians, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

As you move forward in your life, even with all its challenges and obstables, remember that you have a God who loves you, even though...

Transformed by Love,

jonathan

Resource Spotlight

Somebody's Daughter DVD

Somebody's Daughter DVD

Raising awareness of the pervasiveness and destructiveness of pornography

DVD – 62 minutes

Three men and a husband and wife share their personal struggle with pornography, confronting the lies and darkness of this addictive force with compelling honesty and hope. The DVD also contains four music videos and eight vignettes. The 55 minute bonus CD contains 9 original songs, stories, poetry, and scripture readings.

Price: $19.99 Plus S&H

Click here for ordering info

 

Real Answers to Real Questions

Real Question: Early in my marriage I discovered my husband's porn problem - that was over 20 years ago! He now says he is changed but our marriage is broken and I feel trapped. How can we rebuild trust and intimacy?

Real Answer: Thanks for asking such a good question. I would say you need to first focus on healing before attempting to restore trust. You both carry wounds and brokenness, so it is crucial that you address those wounds before trying to rebuild trust.

What has your husband done that causes him to believe he is changed? I too would doubt this change given his history (I'm not saying he might not actually be changed, but I also wouldn't immediately trust him just because he says it is so). Key indicators of a man of purity are as follows (this isn't an exhaustive list, just some important factors):

Obviously, no man will exhibit these behaviors perfectly, but they are an indication that he is changing and moving in the right direction. If none of these elements are present to any degree, then you have reason to be suspect of the change he is claiming. Words mean nothing if they are not backed up with agreeing actions.

You are in a difficult spot right now, but not one without hope. Even if circumstances do not change or turn out as you wish, God has not abandoned you and your faith in Him can still grow and mature. I want to strongly encourage you to spend this season of your life anchoring your hope in the Lord, not in your husband. God promises to never leave you nor forsake you and that He has a future for you where all your suffering will end and your tears will be wiped away. Lean into Him, asking Him to break your husband and to heal your heart.

For help in knowing what will be necessary for your healing journey, click here.

► Do you have a real question you need answered? If so, email it to us at questions@bebroken.com. 

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